Throwing Stones

「我已經退出演藝圈了
在接受勵馨的幫助下，終於將心中埋藏多年的秘密說出口，不再和加害人一起演戲，正式將多年的罪惡感與羞愧感還給加害者。」

這是勵馨基金會蒲公英飛揚計畫部落格中一個人的留言分享。

幾乎所有的性暴力都來自於性別不平等：85%以上的家暴受害者皆是女性，90%以上的性侵受害者皆是女性，而以上兩項暴力的加害者80%都是男性。這個事實呈現了所謂「統計學上的歧視」，但是並不表示我們應該痛恨男性，而是我們應該反對父權。

父權體制(patriarchy)以家庭為單位，並指派家中的男性扛起負擔家計的責任，也因此擁有最大的資源及權力控制家庭內每一個人及每一件事。這害慘了不願被控制的女性，也害慘了一些不願控制人的男性，只是被害慘的男性受到的是心理的折磨，女性則受到了生理、心理兩個層面的傷害，被暴力對待：肢體虐待、精神虐待或性虐待，從百年前的纏小腳，到現代的家庭暴力，無一不讓女性深陷痛苦，但父權體制卻又讓女人無法選擇不進入家庭。

這讓我想到了一首歌，一首老爺形容是「很憤怒」的音樂、聲音：【Throwing Stones】。 這是Paula Cole在【Fire】那張專輯裡面我數一數二喜歡的一首歌，唱出了被性侵、被家暴及千千萬萬被壓迫女性的心聲：

So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

There you go again you cut me off from talking
You bask in the glory
The center of the circle
All the friends think you are a comedian
So kind and generous
but I am suffering
Away from here
I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little, every little thing

Now you call me a bitch in heat and
I call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

You're the puppeteer and I'm the puppet
You manipulate me with your real catholic shit
Everytime I try to talk it through
You turn it around and make us out to be
like David and Goliath

Away from here
I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little every little thing

Now you call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

Your arms beneath me
You're lying inside me
I used to love your every little every little thing
Your eyes blue stars
Your hand in my purse
And now I hate your every little everything all day

Oh momma
I didn't know life was this hard
Oh momma
My innocence has been tarred

My inner vision, dulled and darkened
I keep myself away to you
I fuck my sorrow humbly
And throw my crown upon the ground

It's you I hoped for
And us I prayed for
And me that I believed was wrong
But now my anger is my best friend
Be careful I may bite your head off

Liar

So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead

So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a motherfucker
And we'll throw stones until we're dead